Dakota's Home Birth

Dakota’s birth was immensely evolutionary and evocative. I birthed her into this world the way Mother Nature intended. No drugs. No bright lights. No institution. Peacefully. Intimately. Safely. This is my sacred rite of passage. This is my natural birth story.

Please note: I used Hypnobabies hypnobirthing techniques. I’ve been taught to use different vocabulary without negative connotation – “pressure waves” refers to contractions, and “birthing time” refers to labor.

I was 9 days past my “guess date”, so I went to see my midwife Liz at 11am on October 27, 2017 to get my progress checked. I was 3cm dilated, which surprised me because I hadn’t felt any pressure waves, only mild menstrual-like cramping. Knowing that my birthing time was near, I went home and practiced my hypnosis techniques.

At 4:15pm, I awoke from a deep hypnosis. As I got out of bed, fluids came rushing out. I wasn’t sure if I had peed all over myself, or if my water broke! I went to the bathroom and checked to see what happened down there – it was definitely the latter. I immediately called my Liz and told her what happened.

Click HERE to read the rest of Stephanie's beautifully written birth story and follow her for delicious, healthy recipes, and holistic living tips.

Lucy Mae's Birth

This is the story of Lucy Mae's birth. She is my fifth baby, second home birth, fourth VBAC, and third natural childbirth.

My pregnancy was really great and flew by so fast...maybe too fast. I could have been pregnant for another 6-8 weeks. I wasn't ready for this pregnancy to end. I love being pregnant. There is something so amazing and sacred about growing and carrying and feeling a baby inside you. It is truly beautiful and amazing. But the last couple weeks were tiring and emotional. I guess that's to be expected when you decide to move to a new house when you're nine months pregnant. So many people told me I was crazy for moving this closed to my "guess date." A friend said something really inspiring to me a few weeks before our move. She said, "You're brave." I held onto these words and every time I wanted to say, "This is crazy," I told myself that I was brave for trying to do what was best for my growing family. This move felt right to both Jake and me and I had to follow that.

The week that Lucy was born was so very busy. We finally signed on our house at the beginning of the week. The rest of the week was a whirlwind of arranging for the house to be cleaned (much more difficult than I thought it would be) and packing and moving things over to the new house. I truly thought we were ready to go, but we still had tons to do! On Thursday I woke up and had a lot of mucusy discharge. I knew this was pieces of my mucus plug. I didn't freak too much though because I know that this doesn't always mean birth is going to happen that day and frankly I had too much to think about to fret.

I took Ben to summer preschool and went to check on the house. The cleaners there cleaning. My mom had taken Sam with her earlier that morning to work on unpacking and organizing. They showed me the progress they had made and I felt relieved things were coming together so I went back home to get another load of boxes. Jake insisted that I take a break, so I did. I sat on the couch for almost an hour.

My sweet sitter had taken Jane and I had instructed her to pick up Ben from preschool and take the kids all day. She did an amazing job of keeping them entertained. She took them to the movies, the park, and probably a bunch of other activities I don't know about. She kept them fed, happy, and clean. Jackson had been away at Scout Camp since Monday and wouldn't be home until Saturday. It was a blessing that it worked out that way. He had been moping around since we told him we were moving and I was grateful he could spent the week with his friends.

I got a call from my mom around 10:30 a.m. saying the cleaners had left and hadn't finished cleaning! I was livid. I called the lady and she said she just didn't have time today but could come back later in the week to finish. I told her, it had to be done today and that I was due to have my baby in 5 days! Thankfully I was able to find a cleaning team to come last minute and finish the house. I went to my prenatal appointment. On the way up the steps to the Birth Sweet, I felt Lucy move down a little and I thought, "Woah, maybe this will be today!"

I vented all my house frustrations to Cyndi at my appointment. I was moving in just up the street from Cyndi and she had been driving by my house each day watching how slowly the previous owners were moving out. She had been a great listener throughout my pregnancy. This pregnancy had been great physically for me, but emotionally it had been difficult. It seemed like every appointment I was crying to her about something and she always listened without judgment and always with support. I am a firm believer that all those extra prenatal appointments towards the end of pregnancy are for women's emotional well being just as much as they are for our physical wellness. Cyndi was great, as always.

At my appointment, she verified that my baby had indeed moved down. I left my appointment and went straight to the house to let the new cleaners in. When I got there I realized I didn't have the key! Seriously this day was so stressful, but I knew I couldn't breakdown...maybe later, but not yet.

The new and better cleaners left around 4:30 p.m. and finished everything on my list! Hallelujah! That was definitely God answering my prayers! I sat down to take a break and talk about furniture arrangement with my mom and had a strong pressure wave (Hypnobabies lingo for contraction) that pulled me to my hands and knees. My mom said, "You're not in labor are you?" I laughed it off and said, "No!" Telling myself, I could not be in labor. Not today!

Shortly after I headed back to our old house. I did some more packing and our neighbors  helped us move our washer and dryer and bigger furniture. I thought my house was pretty clean until they started moving all the furniture. Then I wanted to cry. Giant dust bunnies and years of candy wrappers and lost toys suddenly appeared. This was going to be a lot of work cleaning this place!

The men kept asking me if I was okay and all they teased Jake for putting me through a move so close to my due date. I was having pressure waves, but I kept them to myself and convinced myself that they were coming from the stress of the day and that they would subside once this hectic day was over.

We packed my car to the brim and my brother-in-law showed up just in time. I asked him to drive my car because I was exhausted and I couldn't bear the thought of squeezing by giant belly behind the wheel again. I had a few pressure waves on the car ride back to the new house, but I kept my cool. Later my sister-in-law told me that he told her that he thought I'd have the baby that night. And here I thought I was playing it cool!

I knew I needed to go back to finish packing and clean the house, but the thought just overwhelmed me. For a split second I thought, maybe I'll have the baby tonight and I won't have to go clean. It was such a mess though, I couldn't have her tonight...I didn't want anyone to see my house like that!

I seriously only anticipated having my friends help me wipe down walls and dust door frames. I have the most amazing neighbors. They came to my rescue and finished packing and cleaning my entire house. It was such a humbling experience to have them help me. They are all such wonderful friends.  

When I got to our new house, I must have looked exhausted. My mom sent me to shower and go to bed. Thankfully I had set up the kids bathroom earlier that day and my mom had set up Jane's bed too and I just so happened to have some clean clothes to change into. I showered and tried to sleep, but the pressure waves seemed to pick up when I was lying down. I tried listening to some Hypnobabies tracks to put me to sleep, but the pressure waves just felt better when I was upright. It was concerning to me that I couldn't lie down through them, but I knew I couldn't focus on that. So since I needed a distraction, I went back downstairs to unpack and organize. I mostly just told people where to put things and would stop now and then to lean over the counter for a pressure wave.

Sam, Ben and Jane played with their cousins and explored the new house, since they hadn't seen it until that day. Someone finally put them to bed around 10:00 p.m. and then the house was quiet and dark. I walked into my room and my mom and brother-in-law were setting up my bed and putting clean sheets on it. I wanted to cry because it was just what I needed and I had totally forgotten that we might actually need to go to sleep that night. 

There were so many times throughout the day I just wanted to cry, but I kept praying that I could hold it together.

All this time I was still having pressure waves. I didn't time them though, because they didn't seem very consistent. Plus I had been having pressure waves on and off for weeks. That's just what my body typically does towards the end of pregnancy. I have tons of pressure waves that usually get me all excited. Sometimes I time them and they're regular. And sometimes they're strong enough that I get on my hands and knees or sit on a yoga ball. But then they just stop completely. It's all warm-up for my actual birthing time, so I usually try to just ignore them. It's just my body's way of preparing.

Jake was busy taking trips back and forth from the old house to the new house all day and we had only seen each other for short periods of time throughout the day. Now we were finally under the same roof again and it felt good to have him near. I could tell he was exhausted but he was still making me laugh.

Around 11:00 p.m. I kind of had a small inkling that I was actually in my birthing time when I sat down on the couch and I had to keep getting off the couch to get on my hands and knees when I'd have a pressure wave. I would talk and laugh through them though and then I would just get back on the couch and continue my conversation with my mom and Jake. But, I wouldn't let my mind go to the thought that this baby might actually want to come tonight. I really wanted to get the house more organized and a good night's sleep first!

Jake and I fell into bed around 12:30 a.m. and I fully expected the pressure waves to stop, like they had for the past few weeks. But they didn't! They kept coming and starting to feel really strong now. Then I started to panic! I couldn't have her now! Not tonight! I didn't even have my toothbrush, or my hairbrush. I had the birth kit, but no towels, no diapers. The pool was at Cyndi's. I felt so unorganized. I am an organizer and I felt like a wreck.

I called Cyndi at 1:00 a.m. in a total panic. I had been in denial all evening and now I had to face the fact that it was happening tonight! I called her and said I hadn't even been timing them so I had no idea how far apart they were or how long they were but that they were getting really strong and just felt "different." She must have thought I was nuts. I knew better. I should have had all the basic information ready for her. But I think a birthing woman can be allowed to act a little kooky, especially given the circumstances.

Cyndi told me she had to go to the Birth Sweet to get the tub liner. I told her I didn't care and that we were too tired to worry about setting up the pool. I could just give birth in the bath tub. Then I told her I was more concerned that I didn't have my toothbrush! She just laughed and told me she would bring me one.

She told me to take a bath to see if they calmed down. I thought, oh, good idea. Maybe that will get them to stop! I was thankful I had thought to bleach the tub earlier that day. I got in the tub, but the pressure waves weren't stopping. They were really strong.

I told Jake that I was fine and was just going to take a bath and that he should take a nap. He was snoring in seconds!  I knew he was exhausted from moving all day. I had the thought to ask our baby or God to just wait one or two more days...but I couldn't bring myself to ask. I had pleaded with this baby to stay in until we were in our new house and she had. I couldn't ask her to wait another day... she was so ready to come.

I woke Jake up, who had probably slept all of 15 minutes and I called my doula who is also my sister. She had been sick that day and I had no idea if she'd be well enough to attend my birth, but she said she was. I asked her to bring towels since those had been left at the old house. What an awesome doula and sister! She arrived around 1:30 a.m.

Then I called my mom. I knew she really wanted to be at the birth, but I still felt bad calling her back over just after she had left. She was so excited and quickly came back over. Then I promptly sent her back to the old house to get the baby's diapers and of course my toothbrush! I seriously had considered driving back over there myself, but I knew I had to just allow other people to help me. After I decided that, I just felt more calm and was able to accept that our baby was being born that night. I felt like it would all work out and that I just needed to allow things to just happen the way they were supposed to, even if it was not how I planned or envisioned.

The pressure waves just kept coming and I just kept waiting for them to get easier. They were just really strong and intense all over. Pressure waves with Jane and Ben were just different. They just seemed so much easier. I would just take a deep breath at the beginning of a pressure wave and turn my light switch off (Hypnobabies hypnotic tool) and get lost in the wave. They were easy. These felt soo different. A wave would start and I would wine and moan until about the peak and then I felt like I could breathe deeply again. I'm all about making noise in birth. Women just make better progress when they can make low deep noise. I knew I wasn't making the right kind of noise though. It was more of a whining moan and not deep, but I didn't care.

I had been listening to my Hypnobabies tracks since I got in the tub, but I longed to listen to my instrumental playlist. I had been listening to this playlist the past month in times of stress and I had taught myself to relax to the music. I had been practicing my Hypnobabies for much longer and I knew it was ingrained and that it would be there for me, so I asked Karen to turn on the instrumental playlist. Karen started repeating bits of mini Hypnobabies scripts, but I just wanted silence (I probably didn't say it so nicely, but a birthing woman can get away with grumpiness).

When I started to become vocal, Jake asked if we should call Cyndi. So I had him call her and she arrived around 2:30 a.m. Our houses are just up the street from each other, so she got there quickly. Soon after Lisa (Cyndi's assistant) and my mom arrived with diapers and my toothbrush. About this same time, I got out of the tub to go to the bathroom. The pressure waves were getting stronger and the tub just wasn't comfortable (I was surprised by this because I love the tub, but knew I needed to listen to my body). I sat on the toilet and Karen, Jake, and Cyndi would take turns sitting in front of the toilet holding me during my waves.

I got dressed and made my way to the floor by the bed. The pump on my birth ball was broken so the ball was not firm, so it didn't feel comfortable. Someone offered to go get another one, but I just wanted everything to settle down so I asked for a folding chair and I sat on that for a while between waves. I would stand and hold onto Jake during a pressure wave and this was my favorite position. I tried kneeling and hands and knees a few times while someone did counter pressure or the double hip squeeze, but standing while Jake held me felt the best. I felt like I was being so loud, I was so surprised that none of the kids woke up. But birthing women always think they're louder than they really are.

I made my way back to the toilet and had a few pressure waves there and Cyndi said that the baby might be posterior. It all seemed to make sense to me now! She had been hanging out on the right side for weeks. I would encourage her to move to the left, but she would always end back up on the right. From my doula experience I have found that babies tend to like to move in a clockwise motion. So sometimes when a baby starts a birthing time out in the ROA position they move into the OP position. It's often times more ideal to start on the LOA and move to OA. [To read more about baby positioning click HERE.]

That's why these pressure waves felt so different from my previous births. That's why the waves were so irregular and more intense and I felt so much more pressure in my bottom! It was all beginning to make sense now. I really didn't have the unending back labor that I always thought a posterior baby would cause. It was intense, strong, and even painful, but completely bearable. Thank you Hypnobabies! I hadn't listened to my tracks during the birth, but all the hypnotic suggestions were ingrained in me and helped me stay calm.

I lied down on the bed and asked Cyndi to palpitate my belly to confirm her position. She confirmed that she was a posterior, but on her way out of that position, and just needed to turn a little bit more. I immediately turned to my right side almost on my belly and had my team put pillows all around me. Everyone was talking and I had to hush them in my nicest laboring voice. I don't know how nice it came out, but I warned them all previously I might be a little grumpy this birth. I started talking to my baby silently. "Ok baby girl, I need you to move so you're facing my back with your chin tucked." This little girl is so obedient and she moved so quickly!

With Jake at my head and Karen at my side, I started to push a little with each wave. I didn't even have a chuck under me, so when I felt my water break at 4:12 a.m. I said, "My waters!" and my team quickly jumped into action! I still had my cute undies on and Cyndi quickly pulled them off and announced she could see her. Yay, sweet relief this was almost over! The urge to push was stronger now. I just wanted to push hard so I could be done. I remember thinking, I don't care if I tear, I just want to be done! But then the doula side of me wouldn't let that happen, no… it was probably my angels telling me, you're just stretching things out, slow down, ease her down.  Then another wave would come and I'd go back and forth in my mind again with the same thoughts.

A few minutes later her head was born. Lisa said, "Oh look, she has tons of hair! Enough for pony tails." I was so tired and just wanted to be done so I said to Cyndi, "Just pull her out!" Cyndi laughed and said that she wouldn't do that and that I could do it. I was so relieved when I finally pushed her out. It was 4:22 a.m. (And I didn't tear!) It was such a surreal feeling. I felt like I had been feeling her little spirit and movements for months. When I first saw her, I just saw this dark mass of hair and this little body cuddled up next to me. I thought, I should say something to her, this is an important moment, she's finally here. I want her to feel welcome. I said, something like, "Hi baby girl. We love you." I was so tired. I just hoped she felt loved, even if I didn't have something eloquent to say to her.

Lucy latched on quickly and started breastfeeding.  My mom made me a bowl of oatmeal and a big bowl of fresh peaches from her tree. In all the business of moving, I forgot that I hadn't even eaten since lunch, so it was delicious. I showered and then Cyndi did the newborn exam. Lucy was 7 lbs 5 oz and 20.5 inches.

Then she tucked me in bed and everyone left. It was around 6:30 a.m., but it was still dark outside. Jake and I were both so tired that we fell asleep really quickly. I put Lucy's on my chest and when I woke up about an hour or so later, she was the sweetest smell and sight to wake up. I was suddenly so refreshed and felt as if I had gotten a full night of sleep. Ben came in our room and saw the little baby rocker next to my bed and said, "When is the baby going to be born?" I told him to come up on the bed. He got all tender when he saw her and said, "Awww." And then he ran upstairs to wake up Jane so she could hold her first. I guess he thought Jane needed to hold her first. Then Sam woke up next and got to hold Lucy. Jackson had to wait to meet little Lu another day since he was still at scout camp.

After breakfast, as I was examining her closer and taking in every inch of her, I realized her hair was red. It truly looked brown when she was born because it was wet and matted down and I put a hat on her pretty quickly to keep her head warm (okay mostly to cover all the goo in her hair). I wanted to wait on washing it until she had nursed at least twice, so I hadn't noticed the night before. I quickly called my mom and told her to get over here quick. I needed her to wash her hair and verify that Lucy indeed had red hair and that it wasn't just wishful thinking. Oh what a sweet surprise that was!

Lucy's birth was amazing; it was fast, intense, and so special. Our house was in utter disarray, with boxes everywhere, but Lucy is the best house warming gift we could have ever received. Jake and I both can be perfectionists and we always like to have things orderly, so our little Lucy Mae is our sweet reminder that life doesn't have to be perfect or organized to be enjoyed, and that special, sacred, beautiful moments can be found in the chaos. And with five kids there's definitely lots of chaos! We feel so blessed to have another beautiful baby join our family and we just love our little red headed beauty.

Thank you to Brittany Stucki from My Framed Photography for taking our family pictures and for many of the beautiful photos on this website!

Randi's Birth Story

Hypnobabies was extremely helpful to me in preparing me mentally to believe in my ability to fulfill my calling as a woman. I am so thankful to have had the experience to reach within myself and truly find my inner God given strength. 

My birthing time was quite sudden and quick. The day after my due date, (the 28th) I had my midwife check me to find that I was not dilated or thinning hardly at all. I was quite discouraged because I was feeling Braxton hicks and lots of pressure in my cervix. I had her sweep me but we weren't confident it would do much. Also baby hadn't grown since the previous week so I was a bit worried. I used the fear clearing track that night to calm myself along with prayer. Friday I started getting sporadic "birthing waves" but didn't think much of it. Then Saturday morning I woke at 4:30am to birthing waves that were pretty regular and by 8am they were stronger. I got in my bathtub and listened to my birthing day affirmations and started channeling my hypno-anesthesia with each wave. I found myself turning my switch to center and saying in my head "pressure not pain" as I visualized the anesthesia attacking the pain in my body. My midwife Cyndi came around 9am and saw me in my bath and asked if I wanted to use her birthing tub... I hadn't planned to use it but opted to try it. The birthing assistant brought the tub and we filled it up while I got out of the bath and used my hypnosis through each birthing wave - while sitting on the birthing ball. By about 11:30 the tub was full and I got in. The water was an amazing comfort and I hadn't even thought until then about how my special safe place is in water and how right for me a water birth could be. Birthing waves quickly became more and more intense at that point and my husband was doing a great job at saying relax and peace to calm me but ultimately I had to remove myself from the real world and  search within myself for strength and peace. I would immerse my entire body except my face and hands (which were holding my husband's hands) under the water and either pray or say peace to myself. The anesthesia became harder for me to channel and then I became really loud, lol. I think freaked my husband out with my loud noises. I kept asking my midwife when I should push and she said I need to trust myself and push when I feel the urge. It was so strange for me to not be told when to push but soon enough I was able to listen to my body. I wish I had remembered in the moment to use Hypnobabies more but by then it was happening so fast and I lost all control. I was scared and I was making a lot of noise. My midwife then said "Randi, give me your hand." She put my hand on baby's crowning head and this incredible peace came over me. All pain left me - I saw my special safe place, my body relaxed and I let out a big sigh. I knew I was about to meet my baby. Three pushes later and my sweet Penny was on my chest and in my arms. Although I didn't use all of Hypnobabies throughout my birthing time, I am so thankful for the part it played! 

The Birth of Greatness....A.K.A. Atticus

I have always wanted to give birth naturally (and by naturally, I mean un-medicated, and with the absolute least medical intervention humanly possible).

Miles's birth was pretty much the opposite of that, and to be honest, it left me a little traumatized. I absolutely hate the feeling of being out-of-control (hence my major control issues) and there was maybe an hour during Miles's birth when I felt like me and my body was in control of what was happening. The rest of the time, I was hooked up to every stinking thing I possibly could be and felt very angry and out of control of the whole experience.

Needless to say, I wanted this time to be different. My cousin, Erin, had a little boy several months after Miles was born and had blogged about her use of "hypnobirthing" during his delivery. I didn't know much about hypnobirthing, but when we found out we were pregnant again *surprise!* I decided to do a little more digging to see if it was something I wanted to pursue.

After some research late in the pregnancy game, I settled on HypnoBabies (one specific form of hypnobirthing) and signed up for a class with an instructor who I also decided to use as my doula for the birth. The class was a six week course, once a week, for 3 hours. Wednesday quickly became my favorite day of the week: I got off work a little early, I got to spend a little extra time with Brett and Miles at my doctor's appointment, then I got to enjoy an evening of relaxation and learning things that would help me have the birth I'd always dreamed of.

Not only was HypnoBabies helping me feel prepared for birthing, it was changing the way I looked at things in general. I've mentioned my paralyzing pessimism in many previous posts. While HypnoBabies hasn't necessarily "cured" me of that particular malady, it has opened me up to a different way of viewing the world, and has helped me learn to focus more on what I want, rather than what I don't want (both birthing related, and non birthing related). 

I totally give HypnoBabies the credit not only for my amazing birth, but for my Gestational Diabetes being manageable, finding a perfect new car at the absolute perfect time, my negative Group B Strep status, and lower anxiety levels in general.

HypnoBabies had me actually excited to give birth. And not just excited to no longer be pregnant anymore (which I do have to admit, was also the case), but excited and empowered to do something incredible.

Despite my new found optimism, I still struggled a little bit there at the end... The last few weeks of pregnancy are always the hardest for me. I'm a mess of emotions about the upcoming birth. I'm terrified of all the unknowns, excited to finally have my body back to myself, nervous about my capabilities as a mother, and so on. I get really hung up on the timing and I hate that that is one major aspect of birth that I don't have any control over (I told you I was a control freak...). I struggled when February 4 (the day I officially qualified for my FMLA maternity leave at work) came and went. The closer and closer I got to February 17 (my actual "due date"), the more anxious I became.

I finally decided to just let go. I decided to focus on what I wanted. I convinced myself that I was going to have the most kick-ass birth, ever. And in the meantime, I decided to find things to do to keep me as happy and occupied as humanly possible, so I would quit focusing on how much I DIDN'T want to be pregnant anymore. Looking back, those last few days before the birth were actually full of some great final "before baby" bonding moments with Miles. We were able to get out of the house and explore and enjoy the amazing spring weather.

And so the rest of our story begins... Fair warning. If you think this post has been long so far, buckle up. Because although the one word I would use to sum up the birth of Atticus is FAST, my rendition of the story is anything but.

It all started with my first day back after work following my REALLY long weekend.You see, I spent Thursday night having a gall bladder attack and going to the hospital until 1 in the freaking morning. If you've never had a gall bladder attack before, well good for you. Eat right so you don't ever have to deal with one. I was in so much pain I just wanted to die. Being pregnant made it ten times worse...

I called in sick to work on Friday, which meant that I didn't work for 4 whole days because of the holiday on Monday... Going back to work on Tuesday was brutal. I kept telling myself that baby was going to be born before then and I had everything at work finalized to where everyone could pick up right where I left off without issue. I had very few things left to do at work to fill my time, so the hours just seemed to drag on...

 When I got home from work, we ate dinner and Miles was excited to finally make the cookies we’d been promising to bake all weekend. This was one of the things on my "pre-baby" to-do list: make cookies to share with the nurses. I had been holding out doing it until we got closer to my due date so they would be more fresh. I joked with Brett and Kelly (my doula) that if I'd have known that all I had to do was bake cookies to begin my birthing time, I would have done it a lot earlier!!

 After getting Miles to sleep, Brett and I started an episode of Gilmore Girls in bed while enjoying some cookies. I had some contractions that at times felt a little more serious, but since that had happened consistently for weeks, just to taper off after I fell asleep, I wasn’t about to get my hopes up. After the episode, I listened to my “Special, Safe, Place” HypnoBabies track and fell asleep. I woke up to turn it off, and noticed my clock said 11:08. I remember thinking to myself, that as much as I would love to have the baby tonight, I was pretty dang sleepy. I sent a little shout out to God that if it was going to happen tonight, to at least let me sleep a little bit, first.

 I woke up at midnight to the weirdest sensation. I felt like I had peed my pants, but knew that I hadn’t. As I was shuffling to get out of bed, I woke up Brett and told him that I thought my water had just broke, but wasn’t sure. As I got up, a bigger sort of gush happened, so I ran into the bathroom. It was pretty obvious at that point, and I started freaking out a little. I couldn’t stop the gushing, and it was so gross and weird feeling… I had Brett grab a bunch of towels, and after sitting in the bathroom for a few minutes, I finally made my way back into the bedroom. 

 Even though I hadn’t really noticed any contractions yet, I felt weird, almost “pushy,” and I was so confused. I was all sorts of paranoid that baby was going to be born extremely soon, and at home… I’d never had my water break before I got to the pushing stage, so it felt so foreign. I kept worrying that the umbilical cord or something would come slipping out. I knew that I wanted to labor at home as long as possible, but I hadn’t anticipated my water breaking until long after we were in the hospital. I knew if we called the doctor or hospital, they would tell us to come in right away. 

We quickly called Brett’s mom, knowing that regardless of how long we stayed at our house, we needed her to be on her way so she could watch and take care of Miles. She was supposed to go into work at 6 a.m., so she told us she’d have to find someone to cover her shift and she’d call us back soon. 

I called Kelly and asked her what I should do. She asked if I’d had any contractions, and since I hadn’t really noticed any since waking up, she suggested I try to sleep and get more rest. Well that wasn't about to happen! But I promised to keep her posted and to call as soon as I wanted her to come over and help. 

I seriously felt so out of control, because my water kept consistently leaking, and I couldn’t do anything about it. At one point, I tried changing my underwear and putting on a pad to absorb any more liquid that might come out. Yeah, that wasn’t happening. I just completely leaked through it with one big gush. The most comfortable position I got into was sitting on the edge of my bed (which I covered in towels) and leaning over and letting it drip on more towels on the floor.

 In the meantime, I kept asking Brett to bring me things, but the minute he’d go to leave the room to get it, I’d call back for him to stay by me, because I was freaking out. Brett’s mom ended up calling back and saying that she couldn’t find anyone to trade shifts with her, and because others at her work had already called in, she couldn’t just call in sick. 

 That made me freak out even more, and we quickly called Brett’s grandma to see if she could drive over from Cedar. I just kept worrying and thinking that we needed to get someone to our house ASAP to stay with Miles so we could go to the hospital quickly. I didn’t even really want to go to the hospital, because I wanted to labor at home and didn’t really “feel” like I was in real labor, anyway, but I was so concerned, nonetheless.

 After spending a lot of time giving his grandma directions to our house, I decided to call a friend I had just gone to lunch with on Tuesday afternoon to see if she could come sit at our house until Brett’s grandma got there, so we could leave for the hospital. I had felt the baby move a lot before going to sleep, and once briefly right after I woke up, but hadn’t noticed any movement, really, since. It was kind of worrying me, as “lack of fetal movement” was one of the main reasons you should go to the hospital after your water breaks. I wasn’t panicking, but still felt pretty nervous about it, and felt like I wanted to go in to at least get checked out and make sure baby was doing ok. 

 My friend didn’t answer her phone, so I texted another friend (who just had triplets) because previously she had texted me about getting up around midnight to pump for her babies who are still in the NICU. Luckily, she was awake, and when I asked if she could come sit at our house until Brett’s grandma arrived, she was totally willing.

I spent a few minutes trying to figure out a way to cover myself, while not really having a way to keep my amniotic fluid from leaking besides holding a towel under myself like a diaper, which left no room for wearing pants. I ended up settling on a tube top swimsuit cover up that was just long enough to cover my butt. Brett and I spent several minutes packing the last minute things into our hospital bags (mainly toiletries), and I wanted to put in my contacts, brush my teeth, and touch up my crazy hair, because I’m vain like that. KayLee got to our house at 1 a.m. and by then I was having consistent, though not very strong, contractions, so I started timing them. They were about every 2 minutes and lasted an average of 45 seconds long (some as short as 30 seconds, some as long as a minute).

Brett called Kelly back and asked her to come over, and said that I likely wanted to go in to the hospital soon. We continued to pack the bags. I also tried to figure out the best way to take a last “belly” picture before the big event, which turned out to be pretty difficult sans pants. None of them turned out very good, but I was so anxious about getting to the hospital, that I didn’t stress too much about it, like I normally would have.

I called the hospital to let them know I was coming. I asked if either of their natural birth rooms were available, and I was told that they were both being used. One was almost ready to be cleaned, but the nurse said she didn’t know how long it would be, and they wouldn't let me “call dibs” on it. That made me a little nervous, so I really wanted to get to the hospital soon to guarantee that room! We packed some snacks and finally left for the hospital at 2 a.m. 

We got into the car and I put my headphones in to start listening to my HypnoBabies “Fear Clearing” track. I was barely getting into it when Brett’s grandma called. I had to pause it to help Brett direct her to our house. Afterwards, I tried to listen again, but it was extremely hard to focus. The drive to the hospital felt like it took forever, and I was so uncomfortable in the car, crunched into an awkward position so as not to leak anything on the seat. We finally arrived, and Brett was still on the phone with his grandma. I kept telling him to hurry up and get off the phone so he could just be there for me.

We went back to labor and delivery where they took me to triage and hooked me up to the various monitors. The CNA tried finding baby’s heart rate on my right side with no luck. I was trying hard not to freak out, but I was getting a little nervous. She finally checked on the left side and found it right away. I was so relieved. 

My nurse, Sherri, came in shortly after. She was a sweet, older lady, who kind of reminded me of my Grandma Parry and Brett’s Grandma Beatty. She sat next to me on the bed and rubbed my leg as she asked me questions about what was going on, and how long it had been since I hadn’t noticed baby’s movement. I felt very safe and comforted. She was extremely patient and waited until my contractions were over to ask me anything or do anything. Every time I had contractions, Kelly read me some of the birth prompts from HypnoBabies while Brett held my hand and tickled me. My contractions weren’t extremely strong at this point, and felt pretty similar to the many “Braxton Hicks” that I’d been having for weeks on end.

I was checked for dilation and I was a 3 and about 80 percent effaced. I remember thinking “Really, I’m only a 3?!” With Miles I was “stuck” at a low number for SO long, and I did not want to spend forever and a day in labor at the hospital again. So when Sherri said they were ready to transfer me to the birthing room, I was tempted to ask if we could go home and labor awhile longer, now that we knew baby was doing well. Sherri let me know that the room they were moving me to was the natural birthing room, so I felt a little comforted and decided not to make a big fuss about going home just yet.

Once we got to the birthing room, I had to wait for the phlebotomist to come do some labs that the doctor had ordered. Meanwhile, Sherri hooked me up to the telemetry monitors so I could get in the bathtub immediately after. She said that due to my gestational diabetes, they wanted me to test my blood sugar every two hours, starting now. It was so nice the way she approached me about it. She asked if I was okay with doing it (making me feel like I could decline if I really wanted to) and she didn’t pressure me to use the hospital’s equipment—she said I could use my own meter if I wanted. That was one thing I had stressed about… that the hospital would want to do all sorts of (expensive) interventions because of my gestational diabetes. We told her the reading I got when I tested it at home after waking up, and then I took it again and got another normal reading.

While waiting for the labs, Brett went to the car and brought some of our bags in, including all my HypnoBabies stuff, the cookies we had made for the nurses, and my birth preferences. We gave our birth preferences to Sherri, taped our HypnoBabies sign on the door, and started up the relaxing music. For a few minutes, it was just me, Brett, and Kelly in the room, chatting it up. I looked up at the clock and commented about how it was already almost 4 in the morning. Brett said something about being a little tired, and I was like, “Not me! I’m wide awake!” After they drew my blood, Sherri started filling the tub. I was so excited to get in and quickly changed into my swimsuit. The water felt AMAZING and it was so much more relaxing to be in the tub during contractions.

I remember being somewhat annoyed at how slow the tub was filling up. It seemed to take FOREVER. I just wanted to finally feel settled so I could relax and start my “Fear Clearing” track over again, then listen to my other favorite track: “Deepening.” 

There were moments that I started feeling a little overheated, so Kelly went and got me some cold washcloths to put on my forehead. At some point, she also put some lavender essential oils on a washcloth to hold under my nose. It made me feel like I was just at home taking a relaxing bath before bed. She and Brett also brought me my ice water to keep me hydrated.

After a little while, Sherri came back in to adjust the baby’s heart rate monitor because it had slipped around during contractions. She was having trouble getting it to stay on my belly with the straps that were on it, so she left to get some new ones. Around that time, my contractions started getting much stronger and I even had a couple that were back to back. I made a comment to Brett and Kelly at some point about not getting a break to rest in between.

I even thought to myself during a few contractions “I can’t do this… it's too much.... maybe I should just get an epidural so I can lay down and relax…” But then, with all of my HypnoBabies positive affirmations training, I changed my mind. “I CAN do this!”

My contractions were definitely starting to feel painful. I kept asking Brett and Kelly to push down hard on my shoulders as they used my “relax” cue, and I became really vocal and loud through my contractions. At that point, Kelly had used a lot of cues about my “birthing waves being very powerful” and I kept thinking, “Man, I don’t want to think about them being powerful! I don’t even want to think about them at all, I just want to freaking relax, already!” As my contractions kept getting more intense, I finally was able to vocalize that I needed something different. I changed positions and got onto my knees with my arms over the edge of the back of the tub where Brett was. I asked Kelly to use the cues that counted me down deeper into hypnosis during my contractions. I also asked her and Brett to start using counter pressure on my back.

After a couple minutes, I was still uncomfortable in that position, so I stayed on my knees and moved over to face the wider part of the tub by the little “door.” After a few minutes of contractions this way, I started feeling like I was pushing involuntarily and told Brett and Kelly that I felt like I was pooping. Kelly reassured me that it was just baby moving lower and getting ready. Brett asked if he should go get the nurse and I kept telling him no. I remember thinking there was no way I was getting out of the tub to be checked for dilation, because I didn’t want to deal with the hassle of getting back into the tub afterward (and I knew I felt most comfortable being in the water at that point). I thought there was no way I was fully dilated that fast (it really hadn’t been long at all that I had been having the more intense contractions, even).

After several pressure waves where I felt my body pushing on its own, I finally sort of relaxed and went with it, instead of tensing up. I kept telling Brett and Kelly over and over “I’m pooping! I’m pooping! I’m pretty sure I’m pooping!” After a few minutes, I actually felt a little bit of relief from the pain of the contractions, though they were still pretty intense. I was still pretty vocal and kept asking Brett and Kelly to push on me harder.

I kept trying to use my “peace” cue in my mind (which is all about directing your hypno-anesthesia to the parts of your body that need it), but was still struggling. I finally just started saying “peace” out loud to myself, though it sounded more like an angry and fast “PEACE, PEACE, PEACE, PEACE, PEACE, PEACE, PEACE, PEACE, PEACE!” Brett and I laughed about it later, because even in the moment I knew I sounded absolutely ridiculous, but it was the only thing that was helping me get through each pressure wave. That and biting my own hand.

After a little bit longer of me doing that, Kelly went to go get Sherri because I kept telling her and Brett that I was pushing and didn’t know what to do. Sherri came in and started draining the tub so I could get out. It took forever to drain, and I remember standing up to get out a couple times, only to have pressure waves that were strong enough to get me back down in the water for relief.

The contractions were still strong and kept happening pretty close together, making it really hard to get out. I could tell in her voice that Sherri was concerned about getting me out quickly. She kept saying, “Alright, we have to get you out so I can check you.” I was almost annoyed, and kept thinking, “I’m trying, I’m trying!”  As I was getting up and out, I started realizing that even though it felt like I was just pooping, I really was pushing baby, and he was really close to coming out! I had a contraction right after I got out of the tub, and I was fully convinced he was going to pop out before the doctor could even make it. “He’s coming, he’s coming!” I kept saying.

Sherri had me take off my swimsuit bottoms and I crawled onto the hospital bed on all fours, butt in the air for all to see. I'm sure that was a pretty picture. Sherri kept trying to get me to turn over on my back so she could check me and call the doctor. With each contraction and involuntary “push”, I knew baby was literally about there, so I told her I thought she just needed to call the doctor. She was finally able to help me get onto my side to check me. Brett said she put her hand down there, only to quickly whisk it away and run out the door.

Everything after that was really a blur. I stayed on my side and just kept pushing with each of my contractions (not purposefully… there was just nothing I could do to keep my body from doing it on its own).  I vaguely remember a few more people coming in and out of the room quickly with things to prepare for the birth. At one point, my contractions stopped completely and I said out loud, “I just want to rest for a minute.” Kelly told me to go ahead and rest, so I just laid there for a minute, trying to relax and catch my breath. After what felt like just a minute, contractions and pushing were back and getting intense. I stayed on my side, my hands completely gripping the rail of the bed, facing Brett who was standing next to me on the right side. I kept saying over and over “He’s coming, he’s coming!”

The doctor came in as I was having a contraction and I remember yelling “Help, help, help!” as I pushed. I felt an intense burning/stinging/pulling sensation as his head was starting to come out. I felt the doctor’s hand (or what I’m assuming was his hand) as I was pushing, which made things down there almost feel worse. I vaguely remember the doctor telling me to keep pushing, and I said something like, “I can’t push right now, and what you are doing really hurts!”

After a minute or two, I heard one of the nurses say, “The head is out.”  During another pressure wave, I pushed and the rest of his body followed. It was such a relief to be done with the pushing. I asked if I could hold baby, and I had to adjust and turn onto my back so they could put him on my chest. He was crying a lot and Brett and I were just in awe of everything that just happened. I wasn’t sure what time it was, so I looked at the clock and asked what time he was born, to be told by Brett that it was 5:21. Brett said he had been eying the clock and wondering if this little guy was going to be born the exact same time as Miles. Not quite, but within two minutes of each other! That was kind of funny.

Overall, I was just so incredibly shocked at how fast everything went. It seriously felt like I had only been in the tub for like 20 minutes. I think it took me several hours after the birth to fully be hit with the realization that "I just had a baby!" and that things couldn't have gone any more perfectly.

Looking back at the whole experience, things didn't exactly go according to my "plan." I never expected my water to break before getting to the hospital. I didn't expect to have a hard time getting someone to our house to stay with Miles. I didn't expect spend my entire labor at the hospital. Heck, I didn't expect the nurses and hospital to be so supportive of my birth preferences! Yet, everything ended up falling into place so beautifully. The only thing I was ever hooked up to was the belly monitors (which I didn't mind). No Hep-lock, or anything! Woot woot!

I definitely couldn't have done it without Brett, Kelly, and HypnoBabies. Even though I didn't exactly feel "relaxed" during my entire birthing time (like I was hoping), the tools I had because of HypnoBabies helped me get through the times that became difficult. And in reality, the only two times I felt "pain" during my labor were for a short time when my contractions got intense right before I started pushing (when I momentarily considered an epidural), and during the actual pushing. And to be honest, both of those moments were just that... moments. As intense as they were, they were also over before I knew it.

Brett asked me later, if I had the chance to try and do it naturally again, if I would. My answer: Absolutely! HypnoBabies made a believer out of me. I seriously wish I would have had it with Miles. I just want to scream from the rooftops about how much I love it. In fact, even after the birth, I've told Brett that I've had moments where I want to keep listening to my relaxing tracks at night.

So there you have it. The birth of greatness... aka Atticus. 

Matthew's Birth-VBAC

Before I share my HBA2C, I need to give some background information on my first two births. My first baby was born c/section because he was breech. I found out a few days before his birth that I have a uterine septum, meaning that my uterus is heart shaped. The septum in my uterus causes my babies to turn breech in the last few weeks of pregnancy.

My first experience with birth was very painful. I struggled with a long physical recovery and it was also emotionally painful. I wanted to give birth normally. No one seemed to understand why I was so upset because I had a healthy beautiful baby. That is what every mother wants and expects but I wanted a healthy baby and a good experience too! When I found out I was pregnant the second time I wanted to do things differently. A repeat c/section was out of the question. I even switched doctors when the first one I went to wasn’t supportive of a vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC). I recalled talking with a friend about her birth and that she had used hypnosis. I did an online search and found Hypnobabies and was immediately intrigued.  I knew that this was what I wanted. I loved the hypnosis scripts and did a good job with my practicing. I also read a lot of books on natural childbirth. I felt very confident and prepared to have this baby normally. I knew I would have to fight for what I wanted in the hospital because it would be a VBAC, but I was up for the challenge.

During my 38 week OB appointment my doctor informed me that my baby had turned breech. My heart sunk. I broke down and cried right there in his office. I went home and tried all kinds of things to get my baby to turn during that week, but when I went back a week later he was still breech. I had felt so ready and prepared for this birth, and I wasn’t even going to be given the opportunity to do it my way. So with a heavy heart I went into the hospital and had yet another c/sec.

I knew that we still wanted more children and I couldn’t face preparing for another vbac to have my hopes dashed. I told myself that I would just schedule a repeat c/sec and try not to feel bad. But my heart ached. I wanted that beautiful natural birth experience. I was angry at the situation, and at my body. Women’s bodies are made to birth babies vaginally and I felt cheated! A year after Jason was born I started reading more birth books and was put on the path to become a doula. I learned that I could have the birth experience that I yearned for and I would do everything in my power for that to happen. When I became pregnant for the third time I was ecstatic. but soon after was faced with the challenge of finding the right care provider. I wanted a midwife for the quality of care and in the event that this baby turned breech then I could still birth normally. I spent hours searching out midwifes and then driving around all of Utah and Salt Lake County interviewing them to make sure we were on the same page. I interviewed twelve midwifes. In the end I chose a wonderful midwife and felt very confident in my choice. I loved her and her assistant. They spent so much time in my home getting to know me; they listened to my hopes and fears for birth and gave such wonderful support.  Then eight weeks before my due date my family and I moved 4 hours south of our home in Springville to St. George. Not only did I have the huge responsibility of packing up and moving our family but also finding a new midwife. Luckily I found two wonderful midwifes that work as a mother daughter team just one hour from my new home. They were very supportive of my wanting a vbac after 2 previous cesareans. They also had assisted in many breech births. So I felt confident in them, and they were confident in me. Sure enough, much like my last two pregnancies, when I went to my 35-week appointment my baby had turned breech. I spent the following weeks trying to get him to turn with exercises, chiropractic, hypnosis, energy work and more. I finally came to the conclusion that I had done everything in my power to get him to turn and it would be okay if he were born breech if that’s how he needed to be born. When I would listen to the Hypnobabies Turn Your Breech Baby Track, I was asked to visualize my baby being born in the vertex position, and I just couldn’t do it, it didn’t feel right.  I really felt like he was supposed to be in a breech position.  So I stopped worrying about it and just visualized my uterus having lots of room in it for my baby.

I went to my last midwife appointment at 38 weeks, a Monday. I was tired but excited that I only had a few more weeks left before I would meet my baby boy. I had been having Braxton Hicks for about three weeks and I was hoping that would make for a fast birth.  Tuesday was a very busy day and the Braxton hicks felt different. They were stronger and more consistent. I was feeling them 10-15 min apart. After dinner I finally had a chance to rest and they slowed down. Wednesday morning I woke up a little disappointed to still be pregnant, but also glad I was because I still needed to fold and put away the baby clothes. I spent an hour listening to my Hypnobabies Birthing Day Affirmations and putting my baby’s room in order. I was very relaxing and enjoyable. I was really hoping that tonight would be the night, but I wasn’t having any Braxton Hicks or pressure waves. I took the boys to swimming lessons and then my friend came over and took my oldest son to play for the day. I tried to take it easy, but by the time Mike came home for dinner I was exhausted and cranky. I went to bed at 8:00, and Mike went on a bike ride. By 8:15 I had two huge pressure waves (contractions) and I knew that something was different. I called my sister Kelly, who was also my hypno-doula at 8:30 and told her that I thought it was the night and asked her to come over. I tried to relax and sleep. Mike got home the same time Kelly showed up and I told him we were going to have a baby. It was so laid back and comfortable. Kelly would time my PW (pressure waves) and Mike and Kelly would take turns pressing on my back. We all got to work putting my house in order; I really wanted it to be clean for the midwives and after the birth. My pressure waves were coming about every 7 minutes and by 9:30 they hadn’t slowed down so I called Vickie, my midwife. I showered while Kelly and Mike put clean sheets on my bed. We continued to just hang out, relax and laugh. I tried to sleep but couldn’t because my PW were getting stronger, and I think I was afraid I was going to miss out on something. I went into the living room to sit on my birth ball, and have Kelly press on my back. It wasn’t very long when Vickie and Camille arrived (my midwives). I remember feeling grateful when they walked in that I was in the middle of a PW, so they would know that it was for real. After they got everything set up they came and checked my vitals and the baby with the doppler. Everyone relaxed and we chatted while I did my thing.  My pressure waves were so easy that I was worried that I wasn’t really in my birthing time. Vickie wanted to check me around 1am. I was super nervous that I would only be 1 or 2cm dilated and I almost asked her not to tell me what number I was but I was curious. To my surprise I was 4 centimeters! I was so happy that I cried. Everyone was a little worried when I came out of my room with red eyes but I assured them that I was okay, that I was happy. I was a 4! Never in my life had I been dilated 4 centimeters.

Kelly made me a delicious chicken sandwich loaded with fresh veggies. It felt weird eating so much in the middle of the night, but I knew I needed it for energy later. We all just relaxed, talked and laughed. I spent a lot of time by the kitchen sink, I had just bought a padded mat and it felt so good to lean over the sink and have someone press on my back during a PW. At one point I was in the middle of a PW and my dad made a joke and I couldn’t help but laugh. (both my parents had come over) I was having so much fun. Vickie told him to stay and I would just laugh my baby out. After a while I decided to try to get some rest. I didn’t sleep but I rested in bed while listening to my Hypnobabies Deepening Track. Mike finished up some work on the computer while everyone slept. I was probably in my bed for an hour when things really started to pick up. I had Mike wake up Kelly so that she could read me Hypnobabies Birth Scripts and Prompts. I sat on the floor next to my bed while Mike massaged my head and my mom and Kelly sat on the floor beside me. Camille and Vickie were in my room and checking on the baby and me but mostly they just took a step back and let me have my space. The lights in my room were low and we would talk between waves and Kelly would read me prompts. It was so easy and relaxing. My PW were starting to get stronger and I had my mom call my sister Katie to come over so that she could take pictures and video my birth.

My birthing time was so enjoyable. I loved feeling the light pressure of the waves and feeling my body relax when Kelly would read me scripts. I knew that my body was working just the way it was supposed to and that I would see Matthew soon.

After sitting on the floor for a while I started to get uncomfortable, not from the waves but from sitting on the floor. I decided to try the bathtub, and it was awesome. I was in the tub for hours, my body got so wrinkly but I didn’t care, I was so relaxed. We all just chatted and it was so much fun. We would be in the middle of a conversation and I wouldn’t want to stop for a PW so I would try to just relax on my own and keep listening and then the wave would peak and I would have to ask Kelly to read me another prompt and immediately my body would relax and it would be so easy. After the wave would end we would just continue our conversation where we left off.

When the sun started to come up I thought, “Wow, I’ve been up all night!” Vickie checked me again and I was 7 centimeters dilated. That was really exciting. I was progressing so well. I absolutely loved the way I was treated during my birthing time. I was surrounded by so many wonderful women that were all there for ME! I felt so loved.  So many times I would just start crying because I was doing it, I was finally accomplishing what I had wanted for so long.

After a long while I got out of the tub.  The water was getting cold and I needed a change of scenery. I sat on the birth ball for a while but found that it was more comfortable to stand and sway and then lean over the closest person during a wave. My boys woke up and knew that the baby was going to be here soon. It was nice to have them there but really distracting at the same time. They wanted Mike’s attention but I needed his attention too. So my Mom made us breakfast and then took them to her house and my dad was so great to play with them. Vicki checked me again and I was complete. I was so excited and thinking I would see my baby very soon. But I didn’t feel the urge to push. My midwives thought that he was still breech and posterior so we decided to try the rebozo while I listened to the Hypnobabies track “Turn Baby Turn.” I loved this, it was so relaxing having the movement of the rebozo and talking to Matthew asking him to turn to make his birth easier. I felt him rotate into an anterior position, but we all still thought he was breech. I tried a few pushes but still no urge so Vickie suggested I rest in bed for a while. Kelly stayed close and read me scripts while Mike pressed on my back. I slept between waves, which was awesome. I rested for about an hour and then told Camille I was ready to start pushing. I was so tired at this point and ready to get things going. I tried pushing in bed on my side but that was really uncomfortable. I had wanted to have a pain free birth and so far I had, but now I was hurting and exhausted. I got out of bed and tried different pushing positions and that helped so much. I tried to stay upright to help him descend better. My bag of water was bobbing and not allowing Matthew to descend so Vickie broke my waters, to get some off the pressure off. The first few contractions a little water leaked out and then a huge gush! That was awesome. It felt like the hot water faucet had been turned, and it was coming out with that much pressure too. It would stop and then with another wave more and more water. I felt instant relief.  That’s when my pressure waves changed and became more productive. I continued pushing in a squatting position. My pressure waves had picked up so much that I every time I had a wave I would ask Camille to look at me. It helped so much to make eye contact with her. I will always remember Camille’s beautiful brown eyes. She was so patient and loving with me during such a trying time. Vickie and Camille sat on my bathroom floor in front of me and would press on my knees while I pushed on the toilet. Kelly was there reading scripts to me but at this point all I could concentrate on was pushing and Camille’s eyes. I just wanted to get into the bathtub. Someone started filling it up again. When the water turned off and the bathtub was full Camille said that I could get in after 5 more contractions. I wasn’t keeping track but after awhile it was finally time to get in the tub. The warm water immediately helped relax my muscles. I was feeling a lot of backpressure so I asked Mike to press on my back.  It helped tremendously; I even wanted him to keep it up between pushing.  I could feel my baby move down my birth canal, and it was very intense.  I finally had gotten into the swing of things and I knew my baby would be here very soon, and then I could stop pushing. I kept thinking that I was feeling the “ring of fire” and any minute he would emerge and Camille would announce that my baby was here, but it kept on going. I was picturing his body coming down through me and I knew I had a lot of work to do. It hurt to push but I knew I couldn’t stop because he was almost here. I would compare how I was feeling to when you are working so hard with every ounce of your being to finish a really important task and it’s almost complete. You are more exhausted than you have ever been in your entire life but you just have to “push” through all the pain and exhaustion because you know the finish line is right up ahead. You just have to keep going, even though you want to stop, you can’t because you’ve worked too hard for this moment. So yes pushing hurt, but not so much that I even considered quitting. I had worked so hard for this moment, SO much prayer, research, time and tears to have my baby the way I wanted him to be born there was no way I was going to quit. I was doing it. I pushed with every bit of strength I had and Camille would reward my efforts with praise that really helped keep me going.

When Camille said that she could see hair and that my baby wasn’t breech, it took me a few minutes to register or even care what that meant. (Looking back I think he must have turned head down when I did the rebozo and listened to the Hypnobabies Turn Baby Turn track.) First that Matthew was coming headfirst and second if she could see hair then I was almost done! I continued pushing on my hands and knees for a while when all of a sudden I wanted to sit back in the tub. The room was full of excitement and I wanted a better view.  All I could see was a head full of dark hair. I don’t remember hurting anymore, I was so motivated to meet by baby, I only pushed one more time and his head was all the way out, and then a little more to get his body out. Camille handed him directly to me. I cried. It was amazing, Matthew was here and we had done it together!  

Matthew’s birth was so empowering. It was the hardest thing that I have ever done physically and emotionally. The past 9 months have been very emotional and life changing. My journey to Matthew’s birth has been long, hard and very lonely at times. Since Matthew’s birth Mike has expressed many times how great it was not to have surgery, and that I am home recovering so quickly. It has been easier for us to bond with the new baby as a family since I didn’t have a long hospital stay. Mike is amazed at what my body was able to do. He understands more of why it was so important for me to birth at home.  A few days before Matt was born Mike and I were discussing the birth and some of his fears. He told me that my first OB had told him that because I had a heart shaped uterus that I would always have to have c-sections. It was pretty cute the way he announced very shortly after Matthew was born, “Don’t ever tell my wife that she can’t do something, because she WILL DO IT!”

I am so glad that I found Hypnobabies. I loved the Joyful Pregnancy Affirmations. I feel that they helped me to be more confident during pregnancy and during my birth. The Hypnobabies program is fantastic! I love telling people that I loved my birthing time, and I really did. I was actually sad when it was all over. I highly recommend taking the Hypnobabies course. The live class is so great because you can ask questions and get to know other couples who are making similar choices for birth, much like a support group. I also encourage a hypo-doula. Kelly was such an asset to my birth team. She allowed Mike to take much-needed breaks and support me on a level that only a woman can. Even when she was just sitting next to me holding my hand I felt her strength.

I am so happy with this birth experience. It was better than I imagined. And even though my first two births were not ideal I wouldn’t trade them because I have learned so much. I would have never sought out anything different. I would not have become a doula or sought out the care of a midwife or had a home birth. I believe that birth challenges us and changes us. And we can do hard things!

See Matthew's Birth Video Collage HERE

Jane's Beautiful Birth

I have to start this birth story by writing a little about my first three birth experiences. I didn't choose to educate myself about birth when I was pregnant with my first two children and I had very challenging births as a result.  My first son, Jack was born via cesarean and even though it was difficult I felt that the cesarean was truly necessary. My second son, Sam was a VBAC in the hospital with an epidural--his birth was full of unnecessary interventions and was quite traumatic. After his birth, I felt like my body was broken and I couldn't even fathom the idea of ever wanting to have another baby. After 3 years I did want another baby.

When I became pregnant with Ben, my third son, I hired a midwife, Cyndi Johnson, took the Hypnobabies course, and gave birth at The Birth Sweet. My perspective on birth completely changed after Ben's birth. I experienced how birth is meant to be--gentle, kind, and peaceful. It transformed me in such a powerful way. I think I was on a birth high for a year! I wish that I had more eloquent words to describe the way I felt after his birth. I am so grateful for Cyndi's quiet confidence in me--it empowered me in so many ways as a woman and a mother. I am also grateful for the Hypnobabies program for helping me to let go of my fears about birth and to feel confident in my body's ability to give birth.

This is the story of Jane's birth; my forth child, third VBAC, second Hypnobabies-baby, and first home birth.

The night before her birth, I went to bed having pressure waves (Hypnobabies lingo for contractions) and even woke up during the night with more pressure waves, but then I would fall back asleep. This was typical of the past 3 weeks, so I tried not to get my hopes up about this being my actual birthing time. But, around 5:30 a.m. they were starting to regulate and at 7:30 a.m. they were about 7-10 minutes apart and over a minute long. I decided I should call Cyndi. I also sent my doula a text. She told me earlier in the week that she was going to be out of town. I asked her if she had left town yet. She had already left, but I wasn't worried; everything happens for a reason and I knew I was in good hands. I sent my mom and sister a text telling them that it was finally time and I hoped it really was this time (I had a few false alarms in the past month)! My midwife arrived around 8:30 and my mom and sister shortly after.

It also just so happened to be my 6 year old, Sam's birthday. I asked him, before everyone arrived, if it was okay if his little sister was born on his birthday. He thought about it for a minute and then said, "Yeah."  I was glad he was okay with it--because I don't think he really had a choice!

My mom got to work making Sam his birthday breakfast and Cyndi got set up and timed my pressure waves, did counter pressure and rubbed my back. She told me that my waves were much closer than 7 minutes apart and more like 3 minutes apart--I was surprised, but was glad that things were progressing and that I was enjoying my birthing time. I really was too. I had a massage appointment scheduled for that afternoon and I remember thinking, would I rather be getting a massage right now or be doing this? And I thought--Giving birth! I guess I really love birth!

Cyndi's assistant, April came about an hour later and she took over doing counter pressure and rubbing my back.  The mood was still pretty light and we would talk a little bit in between pressure waves and Jake would come in and make jokes and sit near me. The house was unusually quiet that day, especially with three little boys at home--I think they must have sensed the special event that was in progress.

I spent most of my birthing time rocking on the birth ball on my hands and knees. As Jane dropped deeper into my pelvis, I had to empty my bladder more often. After a pressure wave ended, I would get up and hurry to the bathroom and then before I would make it back to the birth ball I would have another pressure wave--they were that close together! So I would drop to my hands and knees--it just felt so much better to be in that position. I had my Hypnobabies Easy First Stage playing out loud on my phone right next to me during my whole birthing time--it was a huge comfort and I felt so much more relaxed when I could hear it.

At about 11:00 a.m. I decided to get into the bath tub. I floated on my belly and worked with the pressure waves. About 10 minutes later, I could tell that the waves were changing--becoming more powerful as Jane began to move her way down my birth canal. April showed Jake how to massage my back and it felt so good! As a pressure wave would begin, I would start to groan and become vocal, then Jake would massage my back and within seconds it would help me to relax and refocus. Cyndi, would say just the right words at just the right time. I hadn't really discussed any of the Hypnobabies cue words with her because I had planned on having my doula there, but she picked up on them and would say, "Release." The Hypnobabies cues really helped so much to keep me relaxed and focused. Sometimes, as I could feel a wave approaching, I would say, "Talk to me Cyndi."  Her voice and words were so calming.

At one point April asked me if I felt like pushing.  I told her "No, not yet." But sure enough, with the next pressure wave I started to feel pushy and I told her so--it's pretty amazing how a good birth team can become so in tune with a birthing woman. After pushing through a couple of waves my water broke. Wow, what a cool thing to feel under water!

I could feel Jane moving down even more with each pressure wave and it made me emotional, we had waited and waited for this day, and now she was almost here! Soon I could feel her crowning--I reached down and could feel her head. When the pressure wave ended, she would slip back up--in a two step forward, one step back fashion.   Cyndi's words were so encouraging. She said things like, "Perfect pushing. Good job. Just like that. You're doing it just right."

After a while I turned from floating on my belling to sitting reclined against the back of the tub.  At 11:40 a.m., after pushing through a few more pressure waves in this position, Jane's head slipped out. A moment later her body slipped out. Then I pulled her up to my chest. It all seemed to happen so quickly and it took me a little while to process it all. When I looked down at her she was so beautiful! I told my sister to go get my kids so they could meet their baby sister. They were there almost instantly. They all came in so quietly-- they somehow just knew how to reverence the sacredness of her arrival. It was so sweet and wonderful to have them all there.

Just minutes after her birth, Jake said, "That was so easy!"  Everyone laughed and Jack, my oldestsaid, "Dad, you didn't have to do it!" But, he was right--it just seemed so simple and natural to be at home, surrounded by those that I love. It didn't feel like a big, dramatic affair--it was just how I hoped it would be; no, it was better than I hoped it would be.

Jane's birth was so beautiful. She was born on her brother Sam's birthday. It was such a tender mercy that she decided to come on that day. There were so many things that I wished would have happened differently at Sam's birth and many things that were painful for me to remember when I would think of that day. My heart is so full of gratitude that God had a perfect plan. My pain was so deep, but now I feel exquisite joy and gratitude. The difficulties of Sam's birth, 6 years ago, is what propelled me to seek for something better and I am now grateful for that experience. Jane and Sam's birthdays will hold an entire new meaning for me--a new birth in so many ways.

Jane's (G-rated) Birth Video

Jax's Birth Story

I pretty much thought that I would go over my "guess date" because I've never gone into labor with any of my other babies early. My guess date was June 18th. Secretly I wanted him to be born on a even number (or even better the 28th) since all of our birthdays are even numbers.  I guess I'm just weird like that! When my due date came and went we were trying everything under the sun to get him to come. We ate at Pepper's Cantina a few times, always ordering their spicy salsa and sauce over my enchiladas.  That night I would feel more pressure waves start, but they always stopped when I got up to go to the bathroom.  I really felt like I might be pregnant forever! 

 I felt a lot of Braxton hicks throughout my pregnancy and really wondered what REAL pressure waves would feel like. I knew what labor induced pitocin pressure waves felt like because I was induced with all my other babies.  I even wondered if my body even knew HOW to go into labor on it's own, since I never did with any of my babies. Though, I didn't wait until my babies were past due more than 7 days to give in and say, "Okay, I've been pregnant long enough, let's get started artificially." What was I thinking?! This birth was going to be completely different from my others because we planned to have him at home, in a birthing pool, using hypnobabies to help me have him with no pain medication.  My whole mindset of birth changed throughout the course of my pregnancy and my eyes were opened to all sorts of things that made me feel completely at peace with having my baby at home naturally. I really think it's because I was surrounded by an amazing birth team. Which consisted of my wonderful husband, midwife DyAnna, hypnobabies instructor and doula Kelly, and family and friends that experienced the same thing I was going through. I was so blessed to have these people to help me.

The day of the 27th (yes, 9 days after my guess date) I started having some pressure waves that made me have to stop and bend over and breathe and relax through them. They would come and go throughout the day. Robby and I decided to go on a walk around the track a few times before we went to bed. My Mom was in town with my sister and she offered to come over and make sure the kids didn't wake up and be home alone, but it was almost 9:30 and I figured they were fast asleep and we would only be a few minutes away. I was pretty uncomfortable and felt lots of pressure as we walked, but nothing too bad that I couldn't handle it. They weren't stopping me in my tracks like earlier in the day. We got home and I felt like things settled down and that it was just another night.

We went to bed around 10 pm and I started having pressure waves. They were little so I tried to rest and see what happened.  I turned on my hypnobabies scripts on my phone and had them playing softly. The pressure started getting more intense that I couldn't sleep, so around 12:30 I got up and got in the warm shower. It felt so good to have the warm water pounding my back.  When I got out of the shower I thought the pressure waves were so intense that I knew we needed to call my midwife and doula. I woke Rob up and he told him I thought it was time to call DyAnna and Kelly. He was like, "Really?! You think it's time?!!" YES it's time! He called DyAnna and I texted Kelly and they both said that they'd be here in 30 minutes. My doula, Kelly, would be bringing her 5 week old baby girl, Jane, with her. It turned out to be a miracle that Jane slept the entire time in the other room and Kelly was able to help me the whole time.  I got on my birthing ball (just my big blue yoga ball) and rested my head on a few pillows on my bed. My hypnobabies track, "Birthing Day Affirmations" was playing in the background. When a pressure wave would come I tried "Ahhhhhing" it out and the breaks between them were so welcoming! I started to feel nauseous and told Rob I was going to throw up. He quickly grabbed the throw up bag that came in my birth kit. Good ol' birth kit! :) After I threw up I hoped I wasn't going to be doing THAT again since that was worse than the pressure waves in my book!

Rob started pushing on my lower back and soon I heard DyAnna and Gina come in my room and begin setting up the birthing pool and getting everything ready. I was thinking, "Wow is this really happening?!" It was 1am. I think that's the last time I glanced at the clock. Kelly arrived and she began saying hypnobabies scripts to me and massaging my back during the pressure waves. Rob was helping set up the birthing pool now, too. Soon I heard our little 2 1/2 year old come trotting in and he started "helping" set things up. :) The Pressure waves would start in my back and move forward and down to my cervix. It was very intense. I couldn't completely turn myself "off" like I had learned in my hypnobabies classes, but I was relaxing my cervix during the waves so I felt like I was doing great just staying in center. Finally I heard DyAnna say that I could get into the pool after I emptied my bladder. She helped me up and into the bathroom and there I had some really intense waves. I was hanging onto DyAnna for dear life during the waves. I finally got into the birthing pool and it felt SOOO good!! I leaned over the side and held onto Rob as each pressure wave came.  Little Knox was now in the living room watching Toy Story. He would come in and out to see what was going on. Kelly and DyAnna helped push on my back and pour warm water on my back. Soon I felt my water break. I felt a "POP" and gush of fluid come rushing out and I told everyone what had just happened. After that the pressure waves came stronger and closer and I could feel Jax's head moving down and my body stretching. It started stinging and the pressure was SO intense!!! Finally, his little head came popping out and I reached down and felt his head and all his hair! I use the word "pop" because it really felt like that! DyAnna said that his little hand was up by his face. The pressure was like having a HUGE bowel movement. My body was pushing him out without me really doing anything. It was Amazing! I was very vocal saying "Ahhhhh" through all the waves and keeping my focus on relaxing.  I needed Rob right there in front of me. I thought I was going to wake up the other kids because I was so loud. :) I kept saying, "Oh my goodness!" DyAnna told me to now close my mouth and push him out. I felt his body slide out and DyAnna was telling me to reach down and pick up my baby!  I looked down and saw him in the water! I picked him up and put him to my chest. He was perfect.  His round little face, chubby little cheeks and dark head of hair. "Look at you!" was all I could say, over and over again!! I couldn't believe he was here. He had THICK white vernix (white creamy good stuff) all over his back. He was born at 3:20 am on the 28th!! My favorite number and the day Knox and I were born! :) I thought it was special that his little brother Knox was there to see him be born!

I got up out of the pool to deliver the placenta. I kept holding Jax and he was so happy to be in my arms.  He was grunting but never screaming or crying. I was helped into bed and DyAnna checked me to see if I had any tears. NO TEARS!! Just a tiny little paper cut on the side where Jax's little hand was up by his face. It was amazing!  Jax was still attached to my placenta while DyAnna showed us how big it was! It was a huge, healthy placenta. After a while Rob cut the umbilical cord and Jax was already trying to make his way to start nursing. He was so alert. He started nursing and was doing so well. Awhile later, he was weighed and measured and checked out by DyAnna. He was perfect as can be! 10 pounds 2 ounces and 22 inches long! Such a big boy!

I was able to get up and get in the shower really quick to get cleaned up. Kelly made me a yummy egg salad sandwich that I gobbled down. It was so good!  Everyone had everything cleaned up and put away and said they'd be back to check on us soon.  We all were able to get a few hours of sleep before the older kids came into our room and were excited to see their new baby brother!  The rest of the day we had family visitors and lots of resting!  I was still in shock that Jax was finally here, healthy and happy and I was already at home in my own bed. I never felt so good! I never knew how far I was dilated or effaced because I was never checked throughout my pregnancy or during my birthing time.  I am thankful for that, too! It was an amazing experience and I am blessed that during the whole thing I never felt nervous or scared. I was at peace and was able to relax and let my body do what it was designed to do. I wouldn't do it any other way!

Elizabeth's Story

Growing up I had always planned on getting an epidural during labor, but I found myself reevaluating that decision when I was actually pregnant for the first time.  I did a lot of reading and talked to several friends who had experienced an unmedicated birth.  This appealed to me and I decided I would also try to have a natural childbirth.

My husband was also supportive of this.  We felt strongly that we would need extra support to help get us through labor.  A family member had suggested we hire a doula.  Luckily we listened to this advice and found ourselves meeting with Karen (Editor’s note: Karen was a previous doula at Peaceful Birth Choices and is now taking a break from birth work) a couple months before I was due.

Karen was very helpful even before I went into labor.  She came to our home to meet us and to get an idea for our birth preferences and to answer questions.  She also helped us become familiar with our birthing options and gave me suggestions on topics to discuss with my doctor before the big day.  Most importantly, she helped me feel calm about labor.  I knew she was a good fit for us.

We called Karen at 2 AM, two days before my due date, to tell her that my water had broken and that we were on our way to the hospital.  She was there shortly after we arrived. She immediately was helping me feel comfortable by getting me drinks, offering suggestions to help my labor progress, and by providing many words of encouragement.  My labor progressed very slowly at first and my doctor wanted to start Pitocin.  This was one of my big concerns with labor and was something I absolutely did not want to do.  With Karen’s help we had learned the importance of asking for more time before starting interventions.  We also were aware of natural ways to help labor progress.  We were fortunate that my labor did pick up on its own and Pitocin was not necessary.  Karen and my husband were very involved during my labor by helping to manipulate my body into more comfortable positions during contractions.  Karen was great at suggesting new positions for me to try.  She was also able to guide my husband and help him know how to best help me.  Karen was able to discern when I needed help, when my husband needed support, and when we needed privacy as a couple.

The birth of my son was such a beautiful experience for me and my husband.  We will always feel a close connection with Karen since she was part of such an intimate moment in our lives.  Since my experience with Karen was so positive I plan on doing natural childbirths with my future children, of course with the help of a doula!  on getting an epidural during labor, but I found myself reevaluating that decision when I was actually pregnant for the first time.  I did a lot of reading and talked to several friends who had experienced an unmedicated birth.  This appealed to me and I decided I would also try to have a natural childbirth. 

My husband was also supportive of this.  We felt strongly that we would need extra support to help get us through labor.  A family member had suggested we hire a doula.  Luckily we listened to this advice and found ourselves meeting with Karen a couple months before I was due.

 Karen was very helpful even before I went into labor.  She came to our home to meet us and to get an idea for our birth preferences and to answer questions.  She also helped us become familiar with our birthing options and gave me suggestions on topics to discuss with my doctor before the big day.  Most importantly, she helped me feel calm about labor.  I knew she was a good fit for us.

We called Karen at 2 AM, two days before my due date, to tell her that my water had broken and that we were on our way to the hospital.  She was there shortly after we arrived. She immediately was helping me feel comfortable by getting me drinks, offering suggestions to help my labor progress, and by providing many words of encouragement.  My labor progressed very slowly at first and my doctor wanted to start Pitocin.  This was one of my big concerns with labor and was something I absolutely did not want to do.  With Karen’s help we had learned the importance of asking for more time before starting interventions.  We also were aware of natural ways to help labor progress.  We were fortunate that my labor did pick up on its own and Pitocin was not necessary.  Karen and my husband were very involved during my labor by helping to manipulate my body into more comfortable positions during contractions.  Karen was great at suggesting new positions for me to try.  She was also able to guide my husband and help him know how to best help me.  Karen was able to discern when I needed help, when my husband needed support, and when we needed privacy as a couple. 

The birth of my son was such a beautiful experience for me and my husband.  We will always feel a close connection with Karen since she was part of such an intimate moment in our lives.  Since my experience with Karen was so positive I plan on doing natural childbirths with my future children, of course with the help of a doula!